To take things for granted

Dear Diary,

A good friend of mine left Melbourne for good today. I flipped and flipped through our facebook pictures over and over again, to find that pictures slowed down after 11th April 2010 - over a year ago, perhaps this means how long we haven't been in touch. Occasionally we will be, only if he takes the initiative. I'm not even sure if I'm still his good friend anymore.

Why so? Because I had excuses about unistudiesassignmentseventsmeetingslifestress whatsoever. Sometimes I ask myself if that is even a valid reason to isolate myself from my circle of friends, to only hang out when I need to, to only catch up when there is a need to. Jo, friends get tired. people get turned off. they will leave u.

Many many times I took things for granted, I appreciated the wrong things. Recently, I read a book called "Have a little faith" by Mitch Albom. Its about how an old man lived his life with satisfaction and happiness despite he being middle class. His life revolved around living things, to ring up people to find out how they were doing, and to go for visits very often. Work could wait, money could wait, and his life could wait too- all in the name of Faith. What's for me?

Its hard to express how I feel right now - disappointed ashamed sad confused. I can blame no one but myself. If I could replay time, I would still take the same path, but I'll keep things I haven't appreciate in this scene closer. I took friends for granted, love for granted, workmates for granted, a lending hand for granted. If I could reverse these, I'll reach out before people could reach me. 

Dear Diary,


What have I done to my life? What happened to the times where I will find my own energy by being with my friends? I hate to say this but I've changed, so did my crystal clear heart. I need to find that back, and the balance between unistudiesassignmentseventsmeetingslifestress and my mates and love :)

Friends are like bras: Close to your heart and there for support :)

Im on my way... 

Cheers, 
Your disappointed writer :(

Note to self: 当你扛不住的时候就读一遍

1.当眼泪流尽的时候，留下的应该是坚强。

2.与其用泪水悔恨今天，不如用汗水拼搏今天。

3.选择自己所爱的，爱自己所选择的。

4.人生就像一杯没有加糖的咖啡，喝起来是苦涩的，回味起来却有久久不会退去的余香。

5.有一种缘，放手后成为风景，有一颗心，坚持中方现真诚。

6.不求与人相比，但求超越自己，要哭就哭出激动的泪水，要笑就笑出成长的性格。

7.这一秒不放弃，下一秒就会有希望。

8.曾经拥有的不要忘记，难以得到的更要珍惜，属于自己的不要放弃，已经失去的留作回忆。

9.没有人陪你走一辈子，所以你要适应孤独，没有人会帮你一辈子，所以你要奋斗一生。

10.喜欢就该珍惜，珍惜就别放弃。

11.人生就是一场旅行，不在乎目的地，在乎的应该是沿途的风景以及看风景的心情。

12.靠山山会倒，靠人人会跑，只有自己最可靠。

13.为你的难过而快乐的是敌人，为你的快乐而快乐的是朋友，为你的难过而难过的才是你的知己。

14.如果爱，请深爱；如不爱，请离开。

15.只要心中有希望存在，就有幸福存在。

16. 人都是逼出来的。

17. 如果你简单，这个世界就对你简单。

18. 人生没有彩排，每一天都是现场直播。

19. 是金子总会发光。

20. 人生如果错了方向，停止就是进步。

21. 自己选择的路，就算跪着也要走完。

22. 别后悔。因为在那个时间点上，它绝对是你真正想要的。

[ 转自铁血社区 http://bbs.tiexue.net/ ]

Wonder why

Sometimes I wonder how I got this far.
Where did I get the courage and the motivation?
I'm really not sure myself.

But if memory serves me right, it has been the satisfaction all this while.
Worries have overtook satisfaction at this moment.
I need a better reason to hang on.

 

...too bad I need more than a weekend

"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn..

...its alrite because I like the way it hurts"

Dear God,

I am having a tough time right now. 
I can't concentrate, I am falling into pieces.
My heart is shedding, I can't pick myself up.
Its been 6 months since, and the pain is unbearable.

Please walk me tru my next 3 papers.
Please hear me out, and lead me to somewhere I belong, where I can be just the way I am.

I cant be distracted right now. Urgh.  :<

Just tot I'd make a note

Saw a pigeon outside uni today.
It was sitting by the side of another dying pigeon who was already lying on the floor.
That pigeon looked as if it was protecting the dying bird. :'(
People walk passed and looked, and hack, it attracted a crowd, and cameras!

Nathar said he would lie next to my tombstone when I die.
So I am just keeping a record of this. :)
Then he went on to say: "Tombstone is too expensive, can you be cremated instead? Then I will spread ur ashes around our beautiful garden, then I'll feel your presence when I am sitting in the garden."

So sweet right. I knowww.

Then he continued, "after you die, I will torture all the spoilt dogs that you've protected."

*Speechless* I'll die with my dogs Nathar. :)

1:41am
28/10/2010

MIA

Omgg I havent blogged for 2 months! WOW.
I've clearly been busy changing the world lately =)
N when I blog in the midst of a busy period, u know sth is bothering me.

Well, fortunately this time it doesnt work this way.
Just wanna update this blog and share the good stuff :)

Got the Golden Key Award!
Sth that my 1st year buddies and I were working hard to achieve!
I checked my mailbox everyday to the extent that my sis tot I was waiting for a letter from my lover.
Hahaha.

Jean and I got a conditional offer to work for Securities Commission Malaysia upon graduation!
Its my first ever job interview and I got the job! =)
Double triple happiness! ^-^

Weeeee! N also that that somebody,

Why do you always spoil me? :)

Its that time of the sem again! Matilah ku.

17.10.10