Saturday, April 23, 2011

To take things for granted

Dear Diary,

A good friend of mine left Melbourne for good today. I flipped and flipped through our facebook pictures over and over again, to find that pictures slowed down after 11th April 2010 - over a year ago, perhaps this means how long we haven't been in touch. Occasionally we will be, only if he takes the initiative. I'm not even sure if I'm still his good friend anymore.

Why so? Because I had excuses about unistudiesassignmentseventsmeetingslifestress whatsoever. Sometimes I ask myself if that is even a valid reason to isolate myself from my circle of friends, to only hang out when I need to, to only catch up when there is a need to. Jo, friends get tired. people get turned off. they will leave u.

Many many times I took things for granted, I appreciated the wrong things. Recently, I read a book called "Have a little faith" by Mitch Albom. Its about how an old man lived his life with satisfaction and happiness despite he being middle class. His life revolved around living things, to ring up people to find out how they were doing, and to go for visits very often. Work could wait, money could wait, and his life could wait too- all in the name of Faith. What's for me?

Its hard to express how I feel right now - disappointed ashamed sad confused. I can blame no one but myself. If I could replay time, I would still take the same path, but I'll keep things I haven't appreciate in this scene closer. I took friends for granted, love for granted, workmates for granted, a lending hand for granted. If I could reverse these, I'll reach out before people could reach me. 

Dear Diary,

What have I done to my life? What happened to the times where I will find my own energy by being with my friends? I hate to say this but I've changed, so did my crystal clear heart. I need to find that back, and the balance between unistudiesassignmentseventsmeetingslifestress and my mates and love :)

Friends are like bras: Close to your heart and there for support :)

Im on my way... 

Your disappointed writer :(