Saturday, April 23, 2011

To take things for granted

Dear Diary,

A good friend of mine left Melbourne for good today. I flipped and flipped through our facebook pictures over and over again, to find that pictures slowed down after 11th April 2010 - over a year ago, perhaps this means how long we haven't been in touch. Occasionally we will be, only if he takes the initiative. I'm not even sure if I'm still his good friend anymore.

Why so? Because I had excuses about unistudiesassignmentseventsmeetingslifestress whatsoever. Sometimes I ask myself if that is even a valid reason to isolate myself from my circle of friends, to only hang out when I need to, to only catch up when there is a need to. Jo, friends get tired. people get turned off. they will leave u.

Many many times I took things for granted, I appreciated the wrong things. Recently, I read a book called "Have a little faith" by Mitch Albom. Its about how an old man lived his life with satisfaction and happiness despite he being middle class. His life revolved around living things, to ring up people to find out how they were doing, and to go for visits very often. Work could wait, money could wait, and his life could wait too- all in the name of Faith. What's for me?

Its hard to express how I feel right now - disappointed ashamed sad confused. I can blame no one but myself. If I could replay time, I would still take the same path, but I'll keep things I haven't appreciate in this scene closer. I took friends for granted, love for granted, workmates for granted, a lending hand for granted. If I could reverse these, I'll reach out before people could reach me. 

Dear Diary,

What have I done to my life? What happened to the times where I will find my own energy by being with my friends? I hate to say this but I've changed, so did my crystal clear heart. I need to find that back, and the balance between unistudiesassignmentseventsmeetingslifestress and my mates and love :)

Friends are like bras: Close to your heart and there for support :)

Im on my way... 

Your disappointed writer :(

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Note to self: 当你扛不住的时候就读一遍
















16. 人都是逼出来的。

17. 如果你简单,这个世界就对你简单。

18. 人生没有彩排,每一天都是现场直播。

19. 是金子总会发光。

20. 人生如果错了方向,停止就是进步。

21. 自己选择的路,就算跪着也要走完。

22. 别后悔。因为在那个时间点上,它绝对是你真正想要的。

[ 转自铁血社区 ]

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Wonder why

Sometimes I wonder how I got this far.
Where did I get the courage and the motivation?
I'm really not sure myself.

But if memory serves me right, it has been the satisfaction all this while.
Worries have overtook satisfaction at this moment.
I need a better reason to hang on.

...too bad I need more than a weekend

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn..

...its alrite because I like the way it hurts"

Dear God,

I am having a tough time right now. 
I can't concentrate, I am falling into pieces.
My heart is shedding, I can't pick myself up.
Its been 6 months since, and the pain is unbearable.

Please walk me tru my next 3 papers.
Please hear me out, and lead me to somewhere I belong, where I can be just the way I am.

I cant be distracted right now. Urgh.  :<

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Just tot I'd make a note

Saw a pigeon outside uni today.
It was sitting by the side of another dying pigeon who was already lying on the floor.
That pigeon looked as if it was protecting the dying bird. :'(
People walk passed and looked, and hack, it attracted a crowd, and cameras!

Nathar said he would lie next to my tombstone when I die.
So I am just keeping a record of this. :)
Then he went on to say: "Tombstone is too expensive, can you be cremated instead? Then I will spread ur ashes around our beautiful garden, then I'll feel your presence when I am sitting in the garden."

So sweet right. I knowww.

Then he continued, "after you die, I will torture all the spoilt dogs that you've protected."

*Speechless* I'll die with my dogs Nathar. :)


Sunday, October 17, 2010


Omgg I havent blogged for 2 months! WOW.
I've clearly been busy changing the world lately =)
N when I blog in the midst of a busy period, u know sth is bothering me.

Well, fortunately this time it doesnt work this way.
Just wanna update this blog and share the good stuff :)

Got the Golden Key Award!
Sth that my 1st year buddies and I were working hard to achieve!
I checked my mailbox everyday to the extent that my sis tot I was waiting for a letter from my lover.

Jean and I got a conditional offer to work for Securities Commission Malaysia upon graduation!
Its my first ever job interview and I got the job! =)
Double triple happiness! ^-^

Weeeee! N also that that somebody,
Why do you always spoil me? :)

Its that time of the sem again! Matilah ku.