I am having a tough time right now.
I can't concentrate, I am falling into pieces.
My heart is shedding, I can't pick myself up.
Its been 6 months since, and the pain is unbearable.
Please walk me tru my next 3 papers.
Please hear me out, and lead me to somewhere I belong, where I can be just the way I am.
Saw a pigeon outside uni today.
It was sitting by the side of another dying pigeon who was already lying on the floor.
That pigeon looked as if it was protecting the dying bird. :'(
People walk passed and looked, and hack, it attracted a crowd, and cameras!
Nathar said he would lie next to my tombstone when I die.
So I am just keeping a record of this. :)
Then he went on to say: "Tombstone is too expensive, can you be cremated instead? Then I will spread ur ashes around our beautiful garden, then I'll feel your presence when I am sitting in the garden."
So sweet right. I knowww.
Then he continued, "after you die, I will torture all the spoilt dogs that you've protected."
Omgg I havent blogged for 2 months! WOW.
I've clearly been busy changing the world lately =)
N when I blog in the midst of a busy period, u know sth is bothering me.
Well, fortunately this time it doesnt work this way.
Just wanna update this blog and share the good stuff :)
Got the Golden Key Award!
Sth that my 1st year buddies and I were working hard to achieve!
I checked my mailbox everyday to the extent that my sis tot I was waiting for a letter from my lover.
Hahaha.
Jean and I got a conditional offer to work for Securities Commission Malaysia upon graduation!
Its my first ever job interview and I got the job! =)
Double triple happiness! ^-^
Once upon a time, there was an island, where all the feelings lived together. Love, Joy, Peace, Wonder, Amazement, Awe, even hatred & envy and all those you can think of... One day there was a storm in the sea and the island was about to get drowned. Every feeling was scared but Love made a boat to escape. Every feeling boarded the boat. One feeling was left behind. Love got down to see who it was.
It was EGO
Love tried and tried but ego wasn't moving meanwhile the water was rising by the minute. Every one asked love to leave him and come on the boat, but love was made to love, he could not leave Ego alone to die. At last all the feelings escaped and Love died with ego on the island.
Officially regreting the amount of effort I've put into this coming paper for the past 8 days.
If I could be granted one wish right now, I would want another 8 more days.
Humans just can't get enough, can they?
Oh wells, if I was given a choice, weather to:
Sit this paper and just merely pass
Study this subject again next sem without any records in my transcrpit
Have been really chilled lately. Exam's 2 days away!
Last year this time I would be freaking out. Locking myself in my own room for hours, pulling my hair till they detach from the scalp and bite anybody that comes near me.
What happened to that?
Still very chilled atm. Sleeping off early and waking up when the sun is shinning bright. I'm gonna regret this. Damn. @.@
BTW, dates that I get to experience hell for a couple of hours. Be jealous. -.-
IVG Futsal reached its limit! Thanks Ismael n my Sujana brothers for the help :D
Facilitated AIESEC's LCM for the 1st time c:
Played bitches-bitches with part of the AIESECers after dinner! Dangg dirty minded -.-
3 things i learnt: 1. Reach for help and you shall be assist :) 2. High school has done much impact on my public speaking! :p 3. Not going to StateCon was a bad idea *but Amazing race was good* Contemplating weather to miss Mt Buller for NewCon this July!
IVG One week left to IVG! So glad registrations closed, same goes to sponsorship applications! What I've learnt in this committee? I'll let you know. For now, I've gotta admit that I was, and still am, and never will be goood at meetings. Seriously. Because words come to me so fast that I hardly think. I seriously need to cut that down and start making use of those brains.
AIESEC I'm going to be incharged of AIESEC LCMs sooon! Loooking forward! :D Dangggg. I missed Statecon. I can picture the AIESECers having the time of their life there right now :( I hope tmr's amazing race will make up to my absence in State con.! Fingers crossed for good weather :)
Uni Submitted my 2000 words assignment tonite! :D One burden off the shoulder! *it was nvr a burden actually! just wanna make it sound big :)* heeeheee. My brains are empty. What have I been doing this whole mid sem break man! :s To do 4 years or not to do years? I still cannot decide! :s
Table Tennis I've skipped many many many tt sessions in Uni! Sorry partner! :p Will make it up sooon! Played 2 1/2 hours of TT this wed! Will play again on sunday! Muscle aching everywhere but I feel gooooood! :p yay!
Thanks Andre for all the bunnies! *Look! the pic on my blog! lolx.*
Hmmmmmmmm. What do I have this break- I have meetings! I have assignments! I have test! I need to practice Table Tennis for IVG! And I have lots of things to deal with.. I wanna donate blood! I need to go to the doc to get my eyes checked! :( Ah rite.. So.. Easter break it is.. Sighh..
I can't decide between Mentoring Prog Amazing Race vs AIESEC State Con! I am gonna cryyyy soon! :(( Grrrrrrrr. Howww! Decido-phobia! :s And then I have MASCA National Conference n Games vs AIESEC National Conference to decide! Humphh..
Last night EFMSA's Lauch @ Eve was supa awesome! :D Free drinks! Lots of EFM people! The company was goood! :) Music sucked tho. And I lost my jacket T.T Sigh. Gives me a reason to go shopping I guess :)
:)
Anh has a classic face :)
My AIESEC President- Brendan! :D
Jo, Jono, Jack! =)
Binesh was there! My Financial Markets Lecturer! :D
I'm soooo happy this morning because somebody posted the news article "An Examplary Act of Kindness" in NST on their blog and the comments made me happie. :)
I've been meeting so many nice people recently till one moment, I've forgotten that people actually have a dark side. I'm sorry if I made you sad.
Nice people #1
There are lots of kinds of people in this world, some of which gets forgotten easily in a big crowd. I try to make them play along but sometimes if they do not open up, I feel so helplesss.
To me, being happie is when you spread ur happiness to others as well. Spreading the happiness isputting a smile on other peoples face. It gives meenergywhen I see the others smile. :) Smilling is all about transferring the kinetic energy of atoms from one person to the other. So next time when you see my energy draining out, just flex those muscles and SMILE :D
I wished week 3 never came. This week was such a tough week. Ups and downs! Macro 2's giving me a hard time. Quantitative Analysis's lecturer is practically using the most inefficient way to teach us. Business Finance's cool but I'm confused. OB sends shivers down my spine whenever I think abt how lost I am in the course structure. My brains are empty. I am not putting effort. I am gonna regret. :(
Oh dear God. Please help me.
Haven't played much Table Tennis this week because there's a tournament happening in the club. I suck at table tennis. I can only dream to play like the others. Everything wouldn't come true without practice. I need to be committed. I hate myself for losing the passion.
IVG 2010 and RMIT Mentor's amazing race is coming up one after another after easter. No complains here because I love what I am doing. But I hope I dont repeat my mistakes ever again. If you know me well during high school, u'll know what I am talking abt. I need to learn to prioritize my task and not take things for granted and regret later on. :s
Failure. I fear failure. I've screwed up one of the most important thing that I went through this week. I do not know what's wrong with me. I never learn! Urghh. I hate myself for this n I foresee I wont forgive myself in the near future. Sigh. I dont know how to explain what I am feeling right now and how regretful I am after putting so much effort in sth I really want. :(
Dear God, please pass a message to all people on earth to not judge a book by its cover. You never know how much a person can do w/o actually knowing how they work. Feeling really demotivated. I am so confused myself. I can't rmb how being happie felt after getting used to putting a smile on the face although there's sth sad hiding deep under.
I've been dreaming a lot recently. About death. about things I want to come true. and about things that have been bugging me. 2 person died in my dreams this week. I remember I woke up crying when I dreamt of them dying in my dreams. N there were nights where I woke up feeling really disappointed for not getting things my way in my dreams. oh well, i know dreams are dreams but they feel so real :(
On the up side, The only person that put a big smile on my face today is my beloved Uncle back home! :) I'm one lucky niece! XD
You're better then the best I'm lucky just to linger in your light Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that's right Completely unaware Nothing can compare to where you send me, Lets me know that it's ok, yeah it's ok And the moments where my good times start to fade
You make me smile like the sun Fall out of bed, sing like bird Dizzy in my head, spin like a record Crazy on a Sunday night You make me dance like a fool Forget how to breathe Shine like gold, buzz like a bee Just the thought of you can drive me wild Ohh, you make me smile
Even when you're gone Somehow you come along Just like a flower poking the sidewalk crack and just like that You steal away the rain and just like that
You make me smile like the sun Fall out of bed, sing like bird Dizzy in my head, spin like a record Crazy on a Sunday night You make me dance like a fool Forget how to breathe Shine like gold, buzz like a bee Just the thought of you can drive me wild Ohh, you make me smile
Don't know how I lived without you Cuz everytime that I get around you I see the best of me inside your eyes You make me smile You make me dance like a fool Forget how to breathe Shine like gold, buzz like a bee Just the thought of you can drive me wild
You make me smile like the sun Fall out of bed, sing like bird Dizzy in my head, spin like a record Crazy on a Sunday night You make me dance like a fool Forget how to breathe Shine like gold, buzz like a bee Just the thought of you can drive me wild Ohh, you make me smile
Melbourne's most intense hailstorm just happened this afternooon! >< It was sunny n cooling at 1pm n by 2pm the hailstorm came! The Malaysian Student's Council of Australia Victoria had a bbq this nooon in Flagstaff garden :s At one moment we were under the umbrella cooking chicken and the next moment we saw flocks of birds flying across our umbrella and we heard droppings on the umbrella! The 1st thing that came to my mind was "OMG BIRD SHIT!" XD N the next moment we felt hard rocksliterally hitting us!
There were more than 100 of us in the garden n we didn't have enough time to run to the shade so all we had was the big umbrella that cud hardly fit 20 people >< Ice cubes shooting from all directions n wind blowing everything left n right for almost 10 mins! What an experience.. @.@ There were people holding down the umbrella n some crying throughout n yelling each time the ice cubes hit them n some were still EATING.. HAHA! Pretty amazing how we made it tru! :)
Well obviously the bbq cudnt go on because it was flooded when the hailstorm subsided and it was left with pouring rain! We ran for shelter n had a mini catch up session there until the rain stop! I must say it was a blessing in disguise somehow! :)) The MASCA people were awesome! XD Great experience :)
Sheng Loong n I helped the committee pack up n clean up n then we headed home! OMG lah. My apartment's concierge area was flooded n the lifts were spoilt so there was no way up except the stairs! I live in THIRTY-SEVENTH floor! I cudnt care much but to walk all the way up 37 flights of stairs! >< Wasn't that bad as it sounds actually!
Cleaned up myself n fixed my legs! :( Didn't think it wud impact my leg so badly but oh wells. Lets just smile n keep that experience deep down :)
Made a couple of calls after reaching home.. But you disappoint me much :(
Watched the news also! N guess wad! Apparently we survived out in an open space with the most intense hailstorm, 100km/hr wind and one of the worst lighting n thunderstorms ever! Pheww.. N Melbourne City flooded! Melbourne has got lots of cleaning up to do! ><
Omg omg omg. So much to think. So so much to do. I can't decide where to be next year! A part of me wants to finish Uni, A part of me wants to go overseas, A part of me wants to just stay home. Urgh. I feel like I'm bonded down to this place! Should I just finish up or should i do sth else for a change! OMG lah. Just kill me at this moment.
On a side note! I'm on papers :) Thx NST thx CWS :)Click here to read! :) Its for a good deed XD Follow me!
Had a long hard day in uni today. New course, new assignments, new way of studying. Pretty sure my brains were squeeze to the limit today. Fell asleeep on the sofa tonite with the idiot box watching me. :( Dumb dumb me. There's nobody to wake me up in the middle of the nite to get me to crawl back to bed because my sis fell asleep too. =.=
aww man.. how i wished when i opened my eyes, I'll be back in my tiny orange room..
Why do i feel like I m leaving on a jet plane for the 1st time :( Oh my, c'mon Jo! I guess this shall be the last time I am blogging from my home in msia. Havent done much this summer. Gimme more time n I'll still complain. :s I am pretty much happie because I've earned quite a lot this summer.
Oh well.. Hello Melbourne, n Good bye Kay Elle. I'll miss my buddies back here T.T
C u guys next year darlings~
p/s: Flying in 19 hrs time n I have not packed yet! Surprise surprise :D
Hello world! I'm feeling rather emo at this moment because I've been saying the same old phrase over n over again for the past few days. N the phrase goes like that "Bye! In case I don't get to see u b4 I fly off, I'll see u next year okay! Take care!" Emo shemo. :(
Did some serious retail therapy last two days b4 heading off next sat. Check out my new toys :)
New shoes :) Excuse used: Lazy to dust off the soil from old shoes thus the new shoes. :p
New Kipling bag! ;] Excuse used: Need a sling bag to put all my stuff to go to uni XD
P/S: my kipling monkey has spiky hair :)
Stocking up our toilet in Melbourne Excused used: Toiletries in Melbourne are expensive
Lastly a whole new dish dryer :) Excuse used: Our cutlery gets rusty easily
Nuff' money spent this week. :) I've got a couple of people to meet in the next 7 days b4 leaving. Haih I hate goodbyes :[
Happie CNY once again peeps^^ Time to hit the sack n emo shemo in my dreams :(
Happiee CNY + Happie Vday buddies! :] May the tiger year bring roaring joy and blessings to you and your family c: Will be heading up to Ipoh this evening for three days! Hear from me soooon! ;p bye^^
Oopss.. Outcasted.. =.=
RMIT peeps, dont forget its timetabling day tmr! :p
You know how people say the house turns into a hotel? I feel it now and then, once in a while. After a long day of work, I just need to shut up and rest well. I haven't been talking much in this house because I don't see the need to talk. Because they don't listen, they just hear for the sake of hearing.
Its very demoralizing when you find out that they don't trust you, and they don't care. I finally understood how kids turn rebellious now and then and get themselves into trouble when they want attention. I dont like it when you say, "just let her be".. And I dont like it when you point at me and say, "there, she's the one you should be scolding"
"Hey Joanne, Stay as long as you can ok? We need your help here."
Ahh snap! That was what my boss told me b4 I could tell him I intend to stop end of this week. Boohooo lets do the math together :) I have 40 days left till Melbourne, So if i work until 29/1/10, that's 11 days Thus, 40-11=29 days In conclusion, that leaves me another 29 days to enjoy if I work until end of January. *HAHA did u use a calculator?* Uh well, for the sake of Uncle Chiu Ing, okay lah..
Back to rewinding the clock a lil, this weekend was nth but awesome. :) Worked like a freak for the past 12 days, so this weekend was relatively relaxing for me^^ :)
Saturday
Adele, sis and I went to one of my fav festival of the year, Japanese New Year! :) Yummylicious foood and junk! ;D Was a lil down because our very well planned Saturday was ruined due to mum's sudden trip to Vietnam >< Anyhow, she came back in time to join us for dinner^^ yay!
After dinner went to pick Judee up from Sentral Hotel :) Had a good chat with this gurl =D lolxxx. I'm sorry I was dozing off darling XD Hope u had an awesome one :p I'll c u back in Ipoh^^
Sunday
Manage to get dad to try Delicious this time! Had Duck Confit Spag, Steak, Anti Pasti and Choc cake! ZOMG its delicious man! :p Love the ambiance esp. the one @ Dua Anexxe^^ The next one I wanna go is the Delicious @ Marc Residence! :) Who's up?
Mum came up with a random idea of having steamboat for dinner! :) Had my awesome Godfamily over!^^ and we had a karaoke session! :D Food was good~ The company was greater :D Hip Hip Hooray! XD
I'm tired, mentally. I have a feeling i'm gonna need a good long rest! I cant stop working because I'll get struck by boredom. I cant take a break because I've got events coming up every weekend. I'm quite reluctant to get to bed early because sleeping is such a waste of time :s Yet sleeping is important. Good night world! Imma rest well tonite. *hopefully* :)
The list of good things that happened since new year :)
Finished my 2nd assignment on a research tat i've been working on for almost a month 17 pages of work! *clap clap*
Got my 'allowance' from TI-M :)
Worked in Edu fair for Studylink just for the fun of it :p
Met my good ol' high sch buddies that was also working in edu fair :) 4 of our booths were all next to each other! yeng! KDU-Studylink-ATC-HELP booth back to back XD
meet my new found high sch friends^^
and of coz one of my awesome girlfriend from college :p
All in all :)
2010 has started off with an awesome beginning :p Hello 2010!~ =]
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